Daybreak

Lake Gaston—Daybreak

Waiting in the Dark (How ‘Bout Now?)

The moment that first sliver of sun peeks over the horizon and the ones just before are my favorite moments of daybreak. I marvel at the wonder of it and love the anticipation while waiting for it. It’s the only time I don’t mind waiting in the dark. It never gets old. 

I think one of the greatest lessons we will learn on our journey with Jesus sits in contrast to those moments: What to do when God says “Wait.” I would love to tell you that I’ve finally mastered that one. Truthfully, I have walked the path back to that altar so much that the dirt is packed tight and there are two deep divots by it where I have fallen to my knees to surrender my impatient heart…AGAIN.

It occurs to me that I know that the sun will rise at its appointed time and the dawn will not be rushed no matter how expectantly, or impatiently, I wait for it. Its timing was set in motion during Creation. So I simply time my arrival to align with the time the sun will rise wherever I am. I know about how long it takes to make or buy coffee and about how long I want to spend praying and waiting before that glorious moment and I plan accordingly, so I feel all of the delight of the anticipation and none of the frustration of extended waiting.

If only the challenges in life were that plannable. It’s inevitable that there will always be problems that need solutions. But, unlike my well-timed, perfectly planned moments just before the day breaks, waiting in the dark for the help of the Lord does frequently get old. I know from previous personal experiences with Him that He is the Daybreaker. His solution for whatever I’m walking through has been set in motion. I just don’t know when. Since I have surrendered my heart to His desire, I cannot rush Him. 

So what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Stand there indefinitely, rocking back and forth on my heels, whistling in the dark? 

It’s a ridiculous image that two friends and I came up with years ago, along with a catchphrase that seemed to run on repeat for months, when we would talk through our current challenges. Its genesis stemmed from those seemingly endless times of waiting on God to speak, give direction, show up, move the obstacle. Just something. ANYTHING! We prayed. We fasted. We worshiped. We tried to stay obedient. All the things. Still there were times when it seemed He just wasn’t going to respond. It isn’t as if we did not understand that sometimes God’s timing and ours can be dramatically different. We did. Waiting for a change to come became such a frequent topic that at some point during our conversation one of us would pause, look up and say “How ‘bout now? (dramatic pause) orrr…Now?” And then we would chuckle. It was a lighthearted way to deal with the frustrations of waiting in the dark to see the outcomes for what we were praying.

For much of my early life it was just me and Jesus in my times of waiting, and I preferred it that way. It was emotionally much safer. But as I sit here remembering the “How ‘bout now” moments with my friends, I’m grateful for the koinonia…the feelings of “with”...they provided in the dark and their willingness to wait there by my side. I was (and truthfully still am) such an intensely serious and deep thinker that I would have brooded and wrestled and been absolutely miserable in all of the waiting. I needed like-hearted friends who could also show me the lighter side of waiting in the dark, so I finally asked God for them.

Admittedly, it does take courage to allow others to occupy the dark and difficult spaces of life with us. Especially if we’ve been hurt when we’ve made ourselves vulnerable before. But let’s be real, none of us escapes life without being hurt. So, I’ll say to you what the Holy Spirit said to me: “Risk again…not everyone is a taker.” 

Be encouraged, dear friend…As surely as the sun rises, the Daybreaker will come and His Light will shine through your darkness at His appointed time. But He will not be rushed. In the meantime, don’t just stand there whistling in the dark alone, ask God to bring the people that you need into your life to pray, to fast, to worship, to obey and to wait with you. And know that eventually, you WILL see that first sliver of the Son rising and He will smile as you marvel at the wonder of what He set in motion, and respond to you in turn…”How ‘bout now, Beloved…How ‘bout now?”